Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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