we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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