my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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