you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
