oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
