another moral hangover. fuck.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
