Kiss
Puke
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Randomize
