I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
