Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
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