It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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