8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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