I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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