I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
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