I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
