I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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