Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
