just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
