I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
