So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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