Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
