Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
