All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
