Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Randomize
