I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
