i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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