I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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