I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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