I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
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