I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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