I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
