Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
