How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
You ate ashes out of my bong
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
