You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
