Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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