Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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