Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
