but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
