i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
