he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
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