Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
my being single is dangerous.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
It's never too late to be topless.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
