Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I use my feet as sexual weapons
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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