Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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