Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
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