Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Randomize
