ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
