I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
