I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
