seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
