The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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