i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Do vagina's smell?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Randomize
