It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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