oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
