New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
